Everywhere I go in the real world or on the net, I am being bombarded by these Online Dating sites. I am hearing commercials of all the “success” stories that people have, etc. etc.
Since I’ve already been laid by two ladies in my workplace (which is a HORRIBLE IDEA - never have sex with anyone at work… This is another story…) and just had a crappy experience with a crazy girl I met at a club - I figured I might give online dating a shot.
So I meet this girl on Craigslist who I start to email back and forth. She sends me a picture and she looks like she’s about like a 7-8 on a 1-10 scale. Not the hottest girl, but as every guy who hasn’t gotten laid in about a month would say “I’d hit it”. So within a couple emails she starts emailing me about all this sexual items she wants to do to me - So I’m thinking JACKPOT! I’d rather take an average sexpot over a hot “lie there and do nothing” girl.
So we agree to meet at a bar and she said she’ll be wearing a red tank top. I go into the bar with practically a chubby walking in, in anticipation of getting some - but what do I see standing at the bar wearing a red tank top? The biggest fattest chick who is probably 10 years older than what she said she was in the emails. I swear to you - she had to be at least 250lbs and could easily kick my ass (the only reason I withheld my Kool-Aid man remark).
More to the story with Pictures after the jump…
Since she knew how I looked like since I gave her a picture of myself she glances over to my direction and stampedes over to me to give me a nice big hug - I literally couldn’t wrap my arms around her and I guess the 5 feet of running she did to give me a hug was too much as she started glistening with sweat while talking to me (not the good kind).
She says “Hi Calvin! You look hot!” and gives me a slap on my ass (which hurt because of the fact she had 250lbs of force behind that slap). She then says “I’ve gained a bit because I’ve been lazy and stopped going to the gym recently but you know what they say about big girls!”.
I have no idea how the hell she said that with a straight face. Unless the reason she stopped going to the gym was because she in fact ate the gym - there was no way in hell she gained all this weight because she stopped goin go the gym “recently”.
And I had no idea what she meant when she said “but you know what they say about big girls” because the only thing I know about fat girls is that they EAT. That’s pretty much all I know as I try to seperate myself from the fuglies as much as possible…
I don’t want to get in trouble by posting her real picture but here is someone I found on the internet who looked very similar to her (*WARNING* if you stare too long you might actually die):
Yea - and the sad thing is - I would much rather have sex with the girl (and I use the term “girl” loosely) above than the beast I met on Craigslist.
Anyways, back to the story…
After being pretty much forced to sit down at the bar with her (she literally grabbed my shoulder and sat me next to her), she started to talk more about sex and how great it’s going to be - blah blah blah - I literally had no idea what she was talking about because she had a handful of peanuts in her mouth (sadly - I am not joking).
During her babble I did catch one thing she said… “You’re not as tall as I would have liked from your picture” WTF?!
At this point I figure I would never see this damn bitch again so I stand up, look at her in the eyes, then said,
“I’ll keep this simple… You are fat and ugly and I don’t want anything to do with you”
I would like to say I then proudfully walked away but unfortunately I turned around and literally ran as fast as I could out of the bar (Again… She weighed about 250lbs).
So long story short - NEVER GO ONLINE DATING.
[…] « Never Go Online Dating… EVER! […]
manscript.com » Blog Archive » Beware of the Fat Girl Angle Shot!
March 1st, 2007
Yeah never use online dating sites.
I actually met my wife on one of them though.
I placed a joke ad that basically said I was a total looser, and lived with ym parents.
She thought it was funny and we got to chatting via e-mail. One thing led to another and we haven’t looked back since.
So if you want a serious relationship form an online dating site, stop being so serious about it. LOL.
BAD
March 2nd, 2007
You got it wrong. Never got online fcuking. That’s how you meet all the terrible looking souls that can’t get laid just like you. The ones that want to actually date are the ones that succeed at least. You always hear the horror stories from the people that just want to smack that ass.
JK
March 2nd, 2007
So BAD your wife likes loosers no wonder you meet her online. Let me know when you get to your 1 week anniversary or is she already making the rounds with your friends
NotAsDumb
March 2nd, 2007
What a lame story.
Anonymous
March 2nd, 2007
You probably still masturbate looking at her picture lollllllll
Steven
March 2nd, 2007
man u probably fucked the shit out of that disgusting human/cow like beats u faggot
Devin
March 3rd, 2007
FAT GIRLS NEED LOVINS TOO…HAHA
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2007
if u like titty fucks then goin fat is like the best cause the lard will just wrap around it and u can fuck it like ud fuck her pussy
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2007
hey baby i just lov them jellie rolls, damn that bitch is so fat u gotta throw flour on that shit to find the wet spot
long john16"
March 3rd, 2007
Online dating is a great way for guys to meet women. If you know what you’re doing or just know how to qualify women you can avoid this mistake all together. I’ve gone out with 10s and dated a few from online dating sites. It’s great practice on talking to women and their are litteraly hundreds of hot women that live close by. Hot women usually just meet dumbasses and that’s why they try online dating, It’s something different. So don’t think for a second it’s online dating, more likly it’s your approach.
Doop
March 3rd, 2007
fat girls give good head. . . because they’re hungry.
bundy
March 3rd, 2007
Online dating worked great for me. I meet my wife online.
Web
March 3rd, 2007
U can fuck a fat girl from different part of her body , tity fuck, armpit fuck, belly fuck, all they just need to do squeeze the lard— they’re really fuckable– with so many points of fuck — if u know how to squeeze the lard
Toretokka
March 3rd, 2007
Nice pic that chick is smoking hot!!
Chubby Chaser Association President
March 3rd, 2007
Oh gosh, your story made me laugh so loud that my granny turned off the electricity in the whole house.
Yeah, sure, there’s a risk when you try to date someone from an online dating site, that this ‘chick’ will be a ’self-called-chick’, duh… I had a few situations in my life with those ’self-called-chicks’ and I know how you felt back there…
Anyway, I wish you good luck in finding a new girl, not so fat and ugly.
Greetz.
Alexander
March 4th, 2007
[…] click the link at the start of the article… manscript.com Blog Archive Never Go Online Dating… EVER! no nudity in the link so it should be work safe… but if ur boss is a dick be careful… the […]
Fat Girl Angle Shot (NWS) - Nissanclub.com Nissan Enthusiast Forums
March 4th, 2007
I fell for this shit once, was talking to this girl for one whole summer and she sent me tons of pictures (all with weird angles) so when we finally met, i couldnt believe my eyes. I could fit in one of her legs literally. But alright, i’ll admit i did her out of charity, I felt raped afterwards though.
El Diablo
March 6th, 2007
Shit it all came back to me while i read the fat girl sorority post. When i was in bed with the fatty i remember that i was going down twoards the jackpot-area with my hand ,I thought i had come to the right place when my hand was sliding downwards, but I had hit the bottom inbetween 2 rings of fat. I remember the ackward feeling when i was poking around down there and realizing it wasnt the hole. I had my hand on her belly and getting out of that one wasnt easy, so i kept moving downwards when i found the 2.5 weeks unshaved farm of itchy hair, at this point i regreted my decision to the point that i wanted to cry, my list of chicks before this one was very good but i had now passed the point of no return. Take my word for it fellas, this is not something you want to try for fun, maybe if you have it in you to scream out “holy SHIT you’re a fucking beast!” to her face and then walk away, but if you’re not that guy, then dont try fat chicks. It can never be good unless its a fetish for you.
El Diablo
March 6th, 2007
Fat fetishism…what, women with extra pounds are toys now? Are they sooooooooooo freakish that they have to be considered like fetish objects? Are they no longer human? Gees, why not black fetishism? Catholic fetishism? Cook fetishism? Jesus Christ…you suck man, big time!
Steven
March 6th, 2007
Sorry to hear you’ve had poor experiences in the online world. I met my wife and my brother met his via online services. I use it as an icebreaker. Met some great women, met some real turkeys along the way. However, if you use it for fun and see what happens (not for sex) it can be a very positive experience. The bad part is when the picture they post and who you meet can be *wildly different* (such as your experience). Once I did that first meet, then I transitioned over to traditional dating. Good Luck.
DeejayEric
March 6th, 2007
still dont know what many people say about fat girls ???
They give the best Blow Jobs
because they are hungry !!!!
The shraat
March 6th, 2007
Hey Steven, some guys got a thing for fat. Some got a thing for black, latino, etc. Don’t harsh on somebody else cuz there’s a little something that gets them off. Ever hear of chubby chasers?
Go jerk off and then come back and post. You’ll be less hostile.
Lama
March 8th, 2007
“but you know what they say about big girls!”. Yep, 2 HOLE!!!!! All fat chicks do anal. All fat chicks suck mean cock. All fat chicks are crazy for any kinda lovin cuz it don’t come round much.
Lama
March 8th, 2007
I feel sorry for you Lama…lol
Steven
March 9th, 2007
you know what they do say about big girls….u can stick ur dick in a different fold each night, so its like havin sex with a different girl each time
Kyle
March 10th, 2007
…i met my girlfriend online ^__^
-but not on a dating site…
but i met other beautiful women online and many friends ^__^
but when i search for girls to date or for a relationship i look at partys and in my circle of friends… sry for my english i’m german ^_^;
Johanna
March 13th, 2007
oh and sry my girlsfriend isn’t fat and ugly neither i am
…sry i don’t loike fat ppl… >_> …
and i don’t really have fat friends… but i don’t really have anything against being friends with a fat person ^^
Johanna
March 13th, 2007
ok for one not all ft girls are ugly. for two the angle shot aint true we do it cuz we like the way tha picture looks i have myspace if any body feels the need to understand why the angle shot aint always true. i aint hiding nothing maybe u didnt ask her what the other have look likes so she didnt show u. so ha ha its ur mothafuckin fault dude and yes big gurls need love to
im jackie come at me if u want
kitti_grl91
March 13th, 2007
Jackie is right, not all curvy women are ugly. My wife is eye candy!
Steven
March 16th, 2007
I doubt that even half of the people who dissed fat girls here are eye candy themselves. Losers…
Zey
March 18th, 2007
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Anonymous
March 21st, 2007
Hei, don’t be so “big minds”. You have to be “big dicks”! If you don’t like fat girls - OK, but remember that one day you all are gong to be fathers! There are a lot of hot ladies online (ex. ME). But the girl in that story is one big fat lier!!!
A WOMAN
April 5th, 2007
Hei, don’t be so “big minds”. You have to be “big dicks”! If you don’t like fat girls - OK, but remember that one day you all are going to be fathers! There are a lot of hot ladies online (example: ME). But the girl in that story is one big fat lier!!!
A WOMAN
April 5th, 2007
I met my fiance online and he is the best thing that’s ever happened to me! So don’t bash online dating till you have done it a little more than once.
Corinna
April 10th, 2007
You so got owned.
Unfortunately for you, you might get slandered
omgwtfbbq
April 19th, 2007
thats the problem over in america too many fat women. not over here though if your someone who likes fat women your not gona find many in england. thats right our women dont diet on burgers and chips. we eat proper food. one last thing, unlucky for you mate i met someone from my old village online and now we see each other most holidays.
BRITAIN RULES
April 25th, 2007
You know what irks me? People using the term curvy to describe fat women. Okay– Beyonce is curvy (sometimes, it depends on how much she’s been workin out lately). Plus size models are curvy. When rolls get involved, the “curve” is broken and the bitch is just fat.
Tati
May 13th, 2007
I have to say I like girls with a bit meat on their legs. But not anything like “fat as a cow”. Just a pretty girl with big breasts, a bit belly (not pregnant size) and some ass. I could just say big sexy curves.
I also like smaller girls with some boobs.
The best is pretty sexy girls with some meat (not queen size).
Girls close to my perfect match is Ashley from www.dreamofashley.com
and Faith from www.inbedwithfaith.com
But then I’d have to search for a long time to get the dream girl in my bed
Sorry for the long comment, but I just had to say what I meant.
And, yes that woman is “fat as a cow” in fact she is a cow!
LovaLov'a
November 18th, 2007
This made me laugh a lot. Mostly because that there is a picture of me.
Deanna
January 14th, 2008
That’s ok ’cause you’re all fags.
Btw take that pic down, motherfucker.
John F. Kennedy
January 16th, 2008
proudfully.
way to go turbo
a woman.
February 1st, 2008