There is no other question that compares with the gut wrenching hard decision that tears a man’s brain in half as the question:

“To sleep or not to sleep with a butterface”

And in case you didn’t know what a butter face is, here’s the formal definition:

Butterface: Scientifically, it’s a monstrous alien beast that tears a hot women’s head off and uses their alien technology to symbiotically fuse to the hot women’s body and feed on the feelings of disappointment of men everywhere.  Or more simply… Everything “But - Her - Face”.

What’s the worst about these women is that from the side, back, from afar, these women are HOT - so the disappointment you receive when you actually see the face is crushing.  Why couldn’t these beasts just have a body that reflects their face so men like us won’t have to suffer these let downs - I mean, I honestly die a little inside when I see a great body wasted on a butterface.

Now the funny thing is when I bring up butterfaces among my friends, everyone thinks I am overexaggerating…  Unless you have actually had a run in with a butterface you will never understand the disappointment and anger you get from a hot body wasted on a butter.

Like FGAS, I have been preaching this for years but I think you have to see it to believe it so here are a couple people I found that encompasses all that is unholy about butterfaces.

1)  2)  

3)  4)

I know what you’re thinking…

“Who cares how ugly their faces are - they are hot!”

Don’t let these butter aliens lead you into their trap! Think about it… Most butterface girls have the same ego as their hot counterparts because of their bodies.  They will act like the real hot girl with the same body and great face.  Do you know how much of a bitch it is to to keep these women happy?  You get all the attitude and a face that haunts you in your dreams - lose, lose, lose.

See these butterface girls unmasked after the jump!

1) HOLY SHIT?!?!

I mean, wow… Great body, even has a nice belly button piercing that a lot of hot girls have but jesus christ - WTF happened to her from the neck up?  I mean, this just makes me want to punch my neighbor in the face.

2) Oh that’s not too ba… Ah shit…

 

 Here’s a tricky one.  Just try looking down to your keyboard and quickly glance up at the picture.  If you do that, you’ll notice 3 things… Boobs, Stomach, Smile.  I mean if you glance at a girl with a great smile, your mind just will automatically assume her face is not too bad.  But take a close look… My mind really gets confused on this one.  Initially, I was thinking - “UGHHH - god damnit!”  But now when I keep staring at it, her smile and boobs are messing with my mind where right now as I typing this I’m thinking “Hmm… She’s not too bad…”  My mind is already working against me by trying to justify the butteriness.

Be weary of these ones - a couple of drinks and you will think this girl is HOT and wondering why you’re the only one trying to pick her up.

3)  AHHH! Please stop looking into my soul!

Only one thing that I can say…  Boobs are not everything…

 4) BURN HER!!!

 

I mean where do I start? Lips? Squinty eyes? Ridiculously strong jaw? Mannish? Has balls hanging down her ears? Just pick one.

 

So the million dollar question… What do you do when you have a chance to get some from these butters?  Have sex with the lights turned completely off and only at the dead of night with no moon out?  Only do it doggy style?  Look only from the neck down?  Pretend you have a paper bag fetish?

All are good options.  I personally don’t want to risk the eye damage from taking on these beasts but there are many close friends of mine that have a butter reserve for those nights when they just don’t care. 

The choice is yours but just take the next 10 minutes now to contemplate your actions so one of these butters don’t spring up behind you and you are stuck with no gameplan.

 

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